xXxbellexthexmidnightxrosexXx: February 2011

what i m0xt like t0 do in wh0le day??

belle..that's wut u xhud call me..
the w0rd "b0ring" isn't in ma dicti0nary..
s0..
these is wut i alwys d0 in ma day to prevent that w0rd "b0ring" to be xp0ken thru ma fucking m0uth..

1. lixtening t0 muxic..
xince that is ma drug..
ma fucking genre.,metal..
and these wut i l0ve to lixten to..
- st0len babies
- as bl0od runs black
- begging for incest
- placenta
- elysia
- sigh
and/but many more..hehe..

2. xketching..
i ain't go0d in art..
yet u wud xay "hey,even ma 6th year old sister cn draw that..
but wh0 care c0s that's h0w i exprexx ma deprexxed..
by drawing xum pathetic human with0ut eyeballx..

3. writing p0emx..
i need n0body to talk t0..
s0 that's why i'd juxt mumbling maxelf,putting w0rdx and write em d0wn..
i'm n0t go0d in w0rding,to be h0next..
but i enj0y maxelf writing all ma heart out..

Sunday, February 6, 2011

i w0nder..

its been a l0ng fucking time i didn't write..even have n0 enthusiasm t0 sketch or etc..

i left my metal s0ng f0r s0medays n0w..

if c0mpare t0 wh0 i was,this seems fucking weird..

hellyeah..

it ain't bc0s i'm changing or wut but i think myb i fell my passi0n to my b hell to0 much...

that's y i think i didn't mind any 0ther else,other than b..

idk..

0f c0s it'll nvr be a shame if i'm being the way i am,even ar0und him.,he'll nvr mind or b0ther..

but i think this is what i reacted by whatever he wants me t0 be..

d'uhh..

but hey.,i didn't mind at all if it c0mes fr0m his fucking m0uth.,n0t others that w0uld like t0 be my s0-called go0d friends..idk..

my b u'r jeal0us or s0mething..

but of c0s i'll have a go0d and nice react t0 what u said.,but h0nestly i w0n't bother..

Thursday, February 3, 2011

na em0 jap..

few weeks ag0 my B received surat utk lap0r diri this May 1st..

hell of c0s m fuckg exciting f0r him c0s heg0t wut he dexerve..

at least this is the beginning f0r my B to step 0n a better career ( well, even guard jugak but at least lpas neh da g0vrnmnt..kukuh cket j0b ye )

tp the same m0ment i'd realized yg after this xley jmpe my B ari2 lg da..

of c0s klu spe dngr i ckp cmneh msti kate "yerr ngade2..bkn xdpt jmpe lngsung pun"

but my heart je yg leh rse the true feelinx..

da biase nmpk ari2..nnt bile da ja0h msti trase giler..

rse sdih tu mmg xleh lari la..lg2 time 1st t0 2nd m0nth tu..

xtaw cmne na sesuaikn dri.,msti tringt2 time die rhat dtg..time ye rnda singgah kt kdai..

isk isk..

but i'll try my best to get rid of it asap..

cbe ingt blk cmne time lpas ptus ngn behesthy dlu..

nangis 2 3 ari je kn? huhu..

at least i cant be a cry baby c0s my B n0 longer by ma syde to c0mfort me..

via mxg je lah..isk isk..

s0 Belle..this is it..

i kn0w i'm str0ng..

i ain't a l0lita wh0 cry 0ver her t0rn dress..

sy berjiwa metal..bhahahaha..

but b..0nce u'r n0t ar0und my sight anym0re..

please be alwys rmmbr 0f me..

i'll be waiting f0r u 2 c0me back..

( cehh ayat cm b na g medan perang je..huhu..)

da la na tit0w..nunyte..

I Hate..

i hate t0 think that i am fine.,
even its really hurt inside..

i hate t0 think that i'm okay.,
even i'd slitted my wrist anyway..

i hate t0 think that i w0nt care.,
even i still ask y0u the same..

i hate t0 think that i wanna run.,
but i w0uld c0me back in the end..

i hate t0 think that i wanna hide.,
but secretly i w0uld steal y0ur sight..

i hate t0 think that i wanna die.,
but i always ask back myself why..

i hate t0 think that i d0n't wnna l0se.,
this deep feeling t0ward y0u..

p/s=r0ses are red,and the sky s0 blue..
the only thing that i hate,is t0 losing y0u..

(a fucking p0em that i wr0te by maxelf)