DEAR DIARY OF 2014

Hell low evryone! (to evryone yg free enough to read my whatever post/blog neyh).,ok! kalau perasan, bapak lamer giler x update blog neyh..da berhabok, da bersawang..like 1year x update..ok! puncanya, I was too busy with lotsa commitments yg tak dpt di elakkan, plus, mood time neyh cm lg suke watching youtubes, movies daripada update blog..Haa tu kesah eh!

Ok! memandangkan da setahon x update blog, today, in this precious day (xbpe na precios sbnrnye cos sedang dilanda heavy fever "demam panas terok")..dan memandangkan skrg neyh da hampir na smpai penghujung tahon.,I'd love to flashback perkara yg berlaku dlm hidop sy by month..xnak la update sume kan.,just benda yg highlighted je..kalau x kang muntah lak korg baca..ok baek! dgn lafaz Bismillah, harap2 line tenet berlaku baek dgn sy smpai habes type..aminnnn..

JANUARY : HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
hrmmm kalau ditanya, January adalah bulan favorite sy, cos at this month sy cm artist, hari2 dpt hadiah, dapat bunga..hahaha..ok xyah na perasan!

hadiah birthday pertama sy..tqsm "xyah mention nma dia sbb time neyh da benci dia" huhuhu..

fyi, by now, bracelet neyh da putos da :((((

last birthday celebration with him...................

shopping hadiah birthday at Mango..

Dinner treats at Umbai, Melaka..taw tak! Sy sukaaaaaaa seafooddd!!!

pastuh adik kesayangan sy belanja sy Archery!!!

So, di kesempatan ini sy na thanks to many people yg celebrate birthday sy, kasi sy hadiah and wish birthday sy..na katakan dari 1st day of January tu, ada je event,ada je yg kasi hadiah, kasi kek..tahon neyh is like the best year selama sy celebrate birthday..knowing that sy ada ramai org yg masih ingat dan syg sy dlm dunia walaupun sometimes tu rasa macam sy lah org yg palling jahat dlm dunia neyh..hahahaa..love you guys to the moon and back!!!

FEBRUARY : VALENTINE DATE

Kalau sebot february, for sure ingat valentine..sy neyh bukan lah na celebrate valentine sgt..cume kebetolan time tu je dpt tgk jambak2 roses berlambak2, promotion chocolate yg melampau2..Haaaa mcm tataw je yg sy neyh minah bunga plus gilerrrrr chocolate! Haruslah valentine tu jd highlighted event dlm tahon neyh..

So kebetolan adik sy ajak dinner skali at satu cafe "Maid Cafe"..giler ko tanak sbb nye theme cafe tu agak lolita sikit, anime lover sikit..so he decided to go there on valentine night memndangkan time tu ada special offer for valentine dinner night..so kami ajak our old beloved couples "Ayu and Sherwin" to join us..sbb diorg agak sekepala ngn kami plus, kami sangat lamer tak hangout samer..

So enough dgn wordings.,here's snaps on that night..

dan inilah hadiah valentine yg sy dapat that night, romantik kan adik sy..hhahahaa..

MARCH : FIRDAUS LOCOZ

Hrmmm, siapakah Firdaus Locoz? He was the best guy that I had.. a tattoo artist and a bestfriend of mine..No!! Of course, dia bukan scandal sy ke apa..kalau sapa kenal sy, bestfriend sy biasanya adalah lelaki sbb hidop dan minat sy hanya boleh di share dgn lelaki..tataw napa..bukan la na ckp pmpuan neyh x boleh jd bestfriend..tp ntah mmg dari skolah agy kawan yg rapat ngn sy majority adalah lelaki..

Aaaand yeah! He's a tattoo artist..dia mengingatkan sy pada Joseph Kero, juga tattoo artist..mungkin org boleh pandang hina bila sy berkawan dengan such person..of course org buat anggapan "lelaki cani u kawan??""dia ada tattoo?OMG!!" Ok! Lemme do correction on your fucking brain! Mungkin org kasi anggapan x elok bila sy berkawan dgn dia..tp trust me! Dia layan sy sangat baik, dia hormat sy, dan bkn jenis lelaki yg berkawan dgn perempuan just for one thing..If you know what I mean..Even kalau sy dudok satu umah dengan dia, sy x takot pn kalau dia na wut jahat dengan dia, sbb DIA XPERNAH!! And dia sangat hormat sy sbgai seorg perempuan..And so, our relationship is more like a trusted friendship, or I can say BFF..and so, I really hope that our friendship last forever :)

APRIL : MARK RYDEN

Apo bondo la pulak neyh?! Hahaha as an art lover, sy perlu buat research pasal artist neyh..and so, let's enjoy his freaking amazing artwork..

Hahaha sorry! Saje na tnjuk dalam version bilik sy cos time neyh giler sangat ngn artwork Mark Ryden smpai rasa na print out sume and lekat satu bilik..Hahahah..

MAY : SURGICAL REMOVAL

Finally, sy decided na pakai braces!! Haaa, lme jugak fikir2 kan..since last year lg..Ntah cane tibe2 kena hasot ngn kak zetty teros ckp :Ok! Sy na wut braces!"

And so, dlm hari yg sama pegi wut impression, amek OPG sume.,dan nama sy dimasokkan dalam slot pembedahan pada 20 May 2014..Huhuhu..

Pembedahan?! Hahaha scary right..yeah, according to plan, ada 4 wisdom tooths sy yg perlu dibedah keluar dan 4 batang gigi utk dicabot..so in total, sy bakal kehilangan 8 batang gigi..*sob sob..

Oleh kerana, sy agak depression hari sblm tu disebabkan satu keputusan burok yg tlh sy ambil, sy diberi ubat tdor atau ubat penenang..sedih! Tp ubat sangat x membantu cos sy asyik dikejotkan utk ambil pressure bagai..haizzz..

So, here's some snap dari doktor kesayangan sy dlm hari bersejarah tersebot..

scary right! Bila fikir2 balik it was a precious moment bila dpt merasa masok dewan bedah, pembedahan sume..rasa sakit lepas tu yg paling xleyh lupa..at least, sy ajar diri sy jadi kuat..sakit2 pn sanggop turon ward tlg boss wut SKT, turon klinik tlg wut kerja sikit..Huhuhu..Takpelah sy taw boss sy syg sy so sy akan berkorban utk dia..Chewahh!!

JUNE : FAMILY BUSINESS

Dalam bulan June sy banyak spend masa dengan family sy..yelah! all this time busy dengan kje, side project..da rasa cm tade life pulak..So finally I took several dayoffs to spend my weekend dengan family tercinta..

Telok Kemang, Port Dickson

(left photo) with adek bongsu sy..Old Town Coffee, Sunway Pyramid 

(right photo) Haagen Dasz, Sunway Pyramid

Baskin Robbins, Midvalley Megamall

Was at Pet World, Midvalley Megamall..

JULY : BODY ARTS

Oleh sbb da terjebak dengan my tattoo guy (If you read about Firdaus Locoz).,I need to confess yg skrg neyh da obsess giler dengan body arts..oleh sbb diri sendiri xboleh na buat tattoo, so sy tlg dia sikit2 wut design, sketch utk tattoo art dia..dalam masa yg sama sy agak aktif menconteng tangan sendiri dengan Henna..

*d'uhhhhh..

AUGUST : RAYA 2014

Best event ever!!! Sy suke raya!! Cos time raya at klinik akan ada Jamuan Raya yg paling happening dlm hidop sy..Hihihi..na tgk happening ke tak jom layan gambar2 berikot..

SEPTEMBER : SHOPPING
Perkara favorite sy iaitu shopping! Maklumlah side income baru masok, so apa lg kaki da gatal na berjalan, tangan da gatal na ber shopping..So, xdela shopping beriya sangat cm mak datin tu..cuci mata yg da lame berhabok wut kje sambil release2 tension heartbroken lg..hahaha..

Asian Avenue, Sunway Pyramid

 (left photo) Tokyo Street, Pavilion

(rigt photo) 10th Avenue, Berjaya Times Square

OCTOBER : GOD SHOWS HOW DEATH IS

Hrmm..ok! da puas shopping2 and celebrating sume, akhirnya sy didatangi satu kesedihan yg paling menguji dan mempengaruhi hidop sy..Tiba2 tergerak hati na balik umah nenek..walaupun umah nenek tak jaoh dari umah sy, tp disebabkan banyak komited kerja dan projek, sy sangat jarang dan susah na balik, termasoklah family sy..

So that day, kami balik dan bermalam di umah nenek seperti selalu..Dengan bapa saudara sy yg sbnrnye adalah seorg yg istimewa iaitu mempunyai Syndrome Down..kadang2 mungkin org agak jemu na melayan dia mungkin atas faktor kurangnya kasih syg antara mereka atau mungkin kurangnya rasa bertanggongjawab..sy tak salahkan sesiapa..mungkin kalau sy yg hidop sebumbong dengan dia mungkin ada rasa jemu jugak asyik na jaga dia yg kadang2 buat perangai yg bukan2..bak kata nenek sy "cakap boleh lah, cuba buat na tgk!"

Iye, seperti yg ayah sy gtaw once ago, besarnya pahala seseorg bile menjaga dia dengan sabar dan penoh kasih syg memandangkan dia adalah salah seorg ahli yg dijamin ke syurga..Namon siapalah kte utk menguji kesabaran sendiri lebih2, sedangkan baru tercucok jarom sikit da na maki jarom tu..

Namon, dengan izin Allah sy diberi satu peluang yg belom pernah sy dapat sblm neyh bila sy dengar hiruk-pikuk di dapor..Sy pada mulanya malas na bangon dan xnak peduli sbb pd hari itu sy fikirkan sy akan ke KL sblm tghri so sy na enjoy tidor kalau boleh selama yg boleh..Entah macam mana finally badan sgt ringan na bangon, keluar dari bilik.. At the time, mak sy sedang dudok di sofa, sambil tutop hidong ckp "apak berak atas lantai!" Hrmm yeah, I know my mom very well..Sy faham sangat dengan mak sy yg x suke dengan benda2 mcm tu apatah lg na tlg bersihkan..

Memandangkan nenek sy na solat suboh time tu, entah kenapa tangan ringan sangat pegi capai baldi dan mop dan bersihkan najis yg da bersepah di lantai dapor sambil bapa saudara sy mengengsot ke bilik air..Betapa sedihnye hati bile tgk keadaan dia namon sy na angkat die seriously tak larat..so sy terpaksa biarkan dia mengensot sendiri sambil sy bersihkan lantai..

Dengan keadaan dia yg separa bogel, sy neyh lelap x lelap je mata tu bersihkan dia dengan air paip sambil tggu nenek sy habes solat..Mak sy masih di depan, merungut2, hati sy pun merungut2 dengan perangai mak sy yg bagi sy waktu itu Tuhan da bagi peluang pada dia atau sy utk mendapat pahala pagi2 lagi..

Lepas nenek sy habes solat, dia dtg ke dapor dan tlg skali bersihkan anak kesayangan dia tu..

Dan sy pun bersiap utk gerak ke KL atas urusan kerja..

Namon dengan izin Allah entah mcm mana boleh tertinggal sketch at umah..da na sampai KL da pun terpksa patah balik..Mmg menyumpah la member2 aku..haha..

Bila sampai umah nenek sy diberitahu nenek sy yg bapa saudara sy tanak makan dan xboleh berdiri langsong..na dudok pn kena bersandar sikit..Mungkin kami yg tak perasan time tu, sbnrnye nyawa dia sedang ditarik, dari kaki.. :(((

Keadaan dia waktu tu agak menyayat hati, namon x sape tahu derita yg dialami saat nyawanya ditarik..Seorg insan yg dijamin masok syurga mcm dia pun da cukop terseksa waktu mati, inikan kte yg banyak dosa yg xreti2 na taubat!! Apa yg sy nampak sepanjang hari terakhir bapa saudara sy amat mengajar sy tentang kuasa Tuhan..betapa wujudnye kuasa Tuhan yg sy lihat di depan mata kepala sy..Mcm mana sy nampak bapa saudara sy yg terlantar atas lantai waktu ptg sy na pegi KL balik..anak matanya yg memandang ke atas sampai hampir2 tak nampak bola mata hitam dia..Waktu itu mmg trgerak hati sy, seolah2 dia sedang nazak, seperti sedang memandang sesuatu dari alam lain..Namon, cepat2 beristigfar, sbb bukan itu yg sy mahu berlaku..

Namon, kuasa Allah mengatasi segalanya..Dia memberi petunjuk kepada kita, supaya kte berfikir, namon kte leka.. Leka dengan kehidupan yg sementara..Habes hantar sketch, kuat hati sy nak balik Seremban..Smpai member ajak singgah Bangsar pun teros say NO! sampai la at atas highway, ibu sy called beritahu yg bapa saudara sy da meninggal..Luluh betol hati time tu, xtaw na ckp apa dan air mata teros mengalir tanpa dipaksa..Sepanjang perjalanan, sy senyap..Kalau dlu kami ber-clubbing dlm kereta, release tension sbb jalan jem..Tp hari itu, kami semua diam..kalau na pujok sy pun da tak boleh lg da..Mmg selama hidop sy xpernah rasa sedih mcm tu sekali..sy pun tak taw kenapa..na katakan sy rapat dengan arwah, xpun..Cuma ayah sy slalu ingatkan, yg arwah adalah ahli dijamin ke syurga..layan die dengan baik dan kte dpt pahala yg sangat besar..Hanya sbb sy diberi peluang utl layan dia baik pada pagi td da cukop buat hati sy rasa sebak..

Sampai di umah nenek, ayat yaasin da mule kedengaran..sy lekas masok dlm umah dan dudok di samping mayat arwah yg terbujur di hujung ruang tamu menghadap kiblat..Dengan air mata yg da terburai2 sy buka kain yg mnutop muke arwah..Subhanallah!! Muke arwah seolah2 tersenyum  dan kulitnye yg sepatotnye gelap, kini cerah..Betapa waktu itu Tuhan na tunjokkan yg arwah adalah insan mulia yg bakal menemui penciptanya dengan muke yg senyum..:'(

Semalaman kami tak tidur, waktu inilah mungkin semua org rasa, selagi ada masa yg tersisa, ingin sekali berbakti dan melayan dia baik..termasoklah sy..Jadi, dengan nekad sy mengambil keputusan utk cuti esok memandangkan esok adalah Isnin..walaupun ada kerja yg x siap, sy nekad! Inilah pertama kali sy membuat keputusan tanpa memikirkan tanggungjawab sy atas kerja..Sy betol2 nak ada diwaktu arwah dimandikan, dikafankan dan dikebumikan..Dan pertama kali dalam hidop, sy insaf dengan kekuasaan Allah..Apa yg sy nampak adalah satu pengalaman yg betol2 mengubah hidop sy, seperti suatu peluang yg Tuhan beri pada sy utk kembali pada-Nya..Sesungguhnnya setiap manusia di muka bumi ini akan kembali padaNya.,xkira lah mereka sembah Allah atau tidak selama mereka hidop :(((

NOVEMBER : ROOM TOUR 2014

Like every year, sy akan selitkan satu Room Tour, maklomlah time demam2 neyh tempat yg sy paling suke spend time adalah di bilik sy..Sbnrnye macam hari2, sy suka sangat bilik sy, x kisah org na ckp apa, bilik sy pink sangat lah, crowded sangatlah..Tp ada ku kesah! Yg ku kesah cume kalau bilik aku besepah je..hahaha..Skati lah korg na tgk ke tak, here's few snaps of my le cave le dungeon le whatsoever broom!

Okie lah! Mesti da rasa cm na muntah an baca post bapak panjang giler..Neyh la padahnya kalau setahon tak update..Maaf lah yer da bazirkan masa uolls baca post sy yg x havoc sangat neyh, but still thank you very much sbb sudi baca sampai habes..

Blog sy neyh tade lah medium utk sy luahkan perasaan ke apa, just sekadar na share apa yg boleh je..So jgn lupa solat Asar..hehew!

Rest In Peace...

Few days ago, I had a nightmare, sweet nightmare actually. Cos I tend to meet my beloved guy, Joseph Kero, in that dream. We didn't talked much but I cried a lot. Hahhh! and fuckk!!

So, secara rasmi setelah itu, segala memori yg xbpe na indah tiba2 dtg dlm kple otak balik. Hell yeah, and once again, fuckk!!

Actually it all started by the death of Bleed or nama sebenar dia Bleyzinna Chia. She was the first and last bestfriend that I have ever had. :'(

She died hanging in her room, found by her mother. And she did left a letter telling how she diasppointed for commiting suicide, and she wanted me to sing Lithium by Evanescence on her funeral day. I refused at first, but her mom kept convinving me, telling me that I can do that as penghormatan terakhir utk dia. :'(

and Joseph Kero..

just a month later after the death of Bleed, he drank a lot, depressed..till one day his sister told me he was admitted for Lung Cancer..sy xpernah taw pun yg dia ada kanser paru-paru until that day. Only that time it was all too late. Of course, sy ponteng sekolah utk tngk dia di hospital, malam sebelum dia mati, he called me, we had a chat, and it was too depressing and I shed tears a lot. Dia cakap, kalau boleh dia na jaga sy sampai dia mati, dan dia slalu doa dia akan mati sblm sy, but beforehand, he prayed that I can meet someone who can take care of me while he's gone. Yeee! Sbb dia lah org yg paling sy syg and sy akan cari in whatever happened.,sejak dia xde, I was depressed sgt, sangat2 terasa kehilangan dia cos sy betol2 rse cm xde tmpt na brgantung..No matter how much I cried, nothing can bring him back. :'(

Sy prnah curik sweater dia bawak balik.,waktu tu hujan, so dia kasi pinjam sweater dia and sy xpernah pulang balik at dia..after his death, I cuddled with his sweater a lot, wishing that I could hug him when I cry :'(

Slalu malam lepas jamming, dia susah kasi sy balik..alasannye, takot sy kna culik. Dia akan suroh sy stay awhile, teman dia main gitar, main piano sometimes..

2 days ago I posted in fb lagu Evanescence - My Immortal. And yeah, lagu tu remind me of him a lot. The memories that I had with him that night, that raining night. It was a beautiful night that I can't never had again. :'(

Ntah npe malam neyh sy na emo2 lax, but yeah, these are the saddest story in my life, yg betol2 kasi big effect dlm hidop sy..

Evanescence - Thoughtless (Live In Europe)

hi semua! (i mean, if, ada org na bace this fucking post..)
ok! right n0w i'm kinda free, like really2 free c0s every0ne has g0ne back h0me by n0w..
It's Friday.,l0ng recess peri0d things.,same 'ol same 'ol..

So, xbanyak benda na wut t0day, since patients pun xramai, like, ada 3org je..
I've d0ne the HRMIS but better I save s0me f0r my s0-boring-h0liday nanti..
Macam yg da cakap at Sufian, "I hate cuti, s0 so so much"
haa, cmtu lax kan.,sbnrnye taw, ramai yg suke cuti, sy lax yg gedik x ske, mentang2 la kje x susah..banyak enj0y daari bekerja.,haha..

Actually I am so in loove with my j0b.,I love every single things that happened on my w0rking day, banyak! but x usah la saya bebel sangat pasal hal tu ok..hee~

Right n0w tengah melayan Evanescence.,nyanyi kuat2 c0s n0 one here, plus sangat da lamer x layan Evanescence..s0 tiba2 m0od na jadi Amy Lee tu datang balik.,hikhik..

Okla.,
first na share this fucking video..
saya sangat suke lagu neyh c0s it's a c0ver fr0m a very kn0wable band called KORN..haa, kenalkan..Even org yg xlayan metal pun mesti kenal nye lah ngn band neyh..
saya neyh xde la minat sangat ngn Korn.,tp lagu dari Korn yg Evanescence bawak neyh sangat best.,even the original versi0n itself xleyh kalah.,hihi.,in my p0int of view lah..

so sape free and rasa na try dengar sila lah play vide0 di bawah neyh eh..

In additon to that c0ncert Evanescence at Europe neyh pun one of my fav0rite,.sape yg pernah memiliki album dye called "Anywhere But Home" ,fyi, th0se live tracks berasal dari c0ncert neyh.,hehe..and actually what I meant by Europe sbnrnye live fr0m Paris.,n0t around the europe :)

oklah.,smpai di sini sahaja.,I have m0re vide0 to view and see u guys later..

New Release on January 2013

ok, baru2 neyh update myself with the latest singles..

xnak ckp banyak here's the links :

purposely choose this video.,sh0wing the album c0ver art..

BMTH is one of my fav0rite..

listening to this new single agak same ngn album yg sblmnye "There Is A Hell,Believe Me I've Seen It,There Is A heaven,Let's Keep It A Secret".,mcm lagu It Never Ends je lebih kurang..

 

And to be h0nest BMTH's recent album (after Count Your Blessings dan Suicide Season) sangat x best, bagi aku la..suara Oli Sykes scream da macam bersepah..but I still ad0re the riffings and paddlings..

 

But still these just pandangan peribadi..maybe few pe0ple still suke this band because of pengaruh screamo yg masih kuat kot.,haha..yelah, setahu aku rmai pmpuan yg tergila2kan si Oli Sykes neyh.,hehe..

 

Whatever lah..

 

and here are s0me other new releases of 2013 :

 

 

lain :

 

1. Your Demise - Cold Chillin'

2. Killswitch Engage - Temper

 

 

 



giant p0ster ☠ Arch Enemy - Khaos Legion

I've g0t this fucking p0ster from Metal Hammer.,a metal magazine that i b0ught yesterday..

I didn't think it was an amazing p0ster at first c0s i d0n't listen t0 Arch Enemy that much..and i paste the fucking p0ster on my back do0r just because i felt like t0..but then,after f0r a while,i was like "hey.,it's awes0me"..and my fav0rite part was the bunch of skelet0n with red eyes..i alm0st f0rgot that i'm easily fall in love with SKELETONS..haha..

and s0.,i d0n't think i ad0re the p0ster much..but i'm IN LOVE with the skeletons.. (:

☠ my drug by 26th July 2011 ☠

Chelsea Grin - Ep 2008

tracklist:

1. Crewcabanger
2. Anathema Of The Sick
3. Cheyne-Strokes
4. Disgrace
5. Lifeless

Clinging To The Trees Of A Forest Fire - Harmonies From Bleeding Mouth ( 2006 )

tracklist:

1. Loathing In The Key Of A
2. Hollywood Cowboy
3. Adna
4. Crossing The Gasoline Sea
5. The Equestrian
6. Hate Is...
7. ...The New Black

Deicide - Till Death Do Us Part ( 2008 )

tracklist:

1. The Beginning Of The End
2. Till Deat Do Us Part
3. Hate Of All Hatreds
4. In The Eyes Of God
5. Worthless Misery
6. Severed Ties
7. Not As Long As We Both Shall Live
8. Angels Of Agony
9. Horror In The Halls Of Stone
10. The End Of The Beginning ( instrumental, by Asheim )


these albums i d0wnload balik selepas lapt0p ku dif0rmat dan hamba Allah tu blhkn LUPA na wut backup..haizz.,anyway..these are my drugs for this week.. (: